My reading glasses make me look really smart. My profile picture?
I have never been on an online dating site. I’ve never had a reason… until now.
Actually, I HAVE been on Match.com, but I was scanning the men in my area–simply out of curiosity–on a friend’s profile listing. She and I laughed hysterically at my frequent exclamations of “Gross!”. There were also a few “ughs” and “icks.” I had heard friends talk about what “dumpster fires” online dating sites are, and my quick view proved that to be true.
And, yes, I know that looks are only a part of what makes a person attractive, but we also need to be physically attracted. Just my opinion.
That friend who used to frequent a few dating sites is now happily married to her soulmate, a man she met not online but in a restaurant.
As a widow of nearly 33 years and having exited (not my decision) a nearly 25-year relationship a few months ago, I have wanted nothing more in my life than to be deeply loved and in a thriving partnership with a man. I thought I had that for years. I was engaged for 10 years to the person who recently decided he wants to be alone; and at one time, we were so great for each other. Having a loving and supportive partner makes me a better person and motivates me to do and to be my best.
Truth be told, I’ve been lonely for a long time.
The last 13 (gulp) years of my relationship were long distance, with him continuing to inch a bit farther west and never initiating talk of us being together. I thought I disliked the area in which he lived, but I realize now that I just wanted him to say how much he wanted to be with me and to start making plans for that to happen.
And I finally had to admit that I do, indeed, find that part of the state beautiful and that I was clearly the one who was going to have to make a move.
And then I got dumped by the person I thought was my soulmate and great love.
And now here I am, a youngish 60-something woman who allowed herself to be stuck for far too long and who does NOT want her final chapter in life to be lived without a partner… at least I don’t think so.
And it’s God’s will anyway.
So I have been mulling the online thing. I figure I have nothing to lose and could meet some nice men with whom I just want to be friends… or God will bring the right person meant for me.
So, for the first time in writing, I give you my fantasy online dating profile!
“Engaging and Energetic Widowed Ambivert is Finally Opening Her Heart”
Hi!
I’m Amy.
First things first: I am the widowed mother of two adult sons, having raised them by myself after losing my husband and their dad to the sea. My older son is a higher ranking military officer (O-5 and above) who is an explosives expert and knows 50 ways to do a man in with his bare hands. He loves his mama.
My younger son is a professional drummer for one of the largest entertainment companies in the world and an independent music producer. I’ve watched him destroy a lot of drumheads over the years. Her loves his mama, too.
Now that we have that little “playa filter” out of the way, I will tell you about me.
Coco Chanel said that a woman never tells her age, so I don’t (but you can see it here on my profile). I credit my decent age preservation with my commitment to fitness, clean eating, a sense of play, good skin care, and a thirst for learning and growth.
I have BS and MA degrees in education and have largely worked in education, with the exception of nonprofit development (a field in which one is still educating others in a few ways).
I own my home, have invested well, have tight parameters around my investments (In other words, I won’t be lending you money!), and yet, find my greatest joys in the simple things of life.
I’m funny, have a quick wit, and love to laugh. I love hiking and weight lifting and yoga, which I also teach. I’m a published writer with a bit of raw talent who needs encouragement, and I always have a good book on my nightstand. I don’t quite understand people who don’t read books on a regular basis.
I love to travel and always spend two weeks of the year in Hawaii.
My Christian faith is my anchor in life. I’d prefer a partner who shares my faith, but supporting my faith is better than nothing.
Alcohol? I can take it or leave it, but I do enjoy a little glass of red wine a few times a week. Smoking? No way.
MY heroes–besides Jesus and my sons–are Godzilla and Herman Munster.
What am I seeking?
A man who knows what it means to guard a woman’s heart, especially a woman who has been through some of the tragedies I’ve navigated. A guy who is committed to his fitness, who doesn’t overindulge in alcohol, and who doesn’t smoke or vape. A man who loves his children and grandchildren, but who knows how to strike a balance between having a commitment to his partner and to his family. As a mother and grandmother myself, I think I do a decent job with that. A man who is curious about life and is committed to his own growth and learning. A man who knows it really isn’t cool to be having online conversations with other women–innocent though they may be–if he’s truly invested in his partner. I love romance and a man who knows how to be romantic. I love music of most genres, but I’m not a big concert goer. I prefer one on one conversations and small group gatherings, and I do need “white space” in my life to just be, write, and recharge.
I want a best friend who will be by my side in the ups and downs of life and I by his.
This venture into this online dating world is brand new to me. I’d be lying if I said I still don’t love the man I thought I’d be with until one of us passed, but getting dumped the way I did will certainly jolt you into getting unstuck and having to acknowledge that chapter of my life is history. I just ask that you be patient with me if we click and start to get to know each other.
That’s probably all you need to know for now.
A simple but engaging gal with a lot of good energy and joy to shower upon you!
If this speaks to you, let’s connect!
So, there, you have it, friends… my online dating profile.
Maybe… maybe… coming to a site near you.
Amy Walton is a widow of too many years who thought she would end up with the man she considered her soul mate. Connect with her at amywaltoncoaching@gmail.com.