Photo Credit: Amy Walton
I’m starting to feel like one of those Hollywood stars who laments younger actresses who get parts over them.
But this has nothing to do with age and everything to do with having been stuck in a relationship time warp for too long (and a few other things).
. I admit I have not been involved in my community for quite some time, at least not in the ways I used to be, President of this and chair of that. Jobs that had me out in the community rubbing elbows with the area’s power players. Being the mother of two active sons who played sports their entire youth.
And here I am, vice chair of my church’s parish pastoral council, a lector at my church, and a some time Bible study small group leader in women’s ministry.
That’s it.
And all I see on social media are former colleagues receiving major (and well-deserved!) recognition for their work and women’s gatherings that feature speakers and workshop leaders I know… but I wasn’t invited to the party.
I think I’ve acquired a bit of a reputation as a non-player… and I am okay and NOT okay with it.
For years I played the waiting game.
That’s on me, too.
No one forces us to stay in situations that are stagnant. The problem is that WE become too comfortable (while actually being uncomfortable). I lived on a hope for a long time with no real talk.The years passed, and I coached women and taught seminars and became a Registered Yoga Teacher. I traveled alot.
But I basically dropped out of community connections because I was so certain that one day my great love would magically pick up the phone and say, “Let’s figure this out. Let’s close up this three-hour (by car) distance I put between us, and finally be together, enjoying our lives, supporting each other’s endeavors, and being grandparents of our four grandchildren.”
Such words were never spoken.
Big old deep breath here…
What else has held me back.. or rather, what have I allowed to hold me back?
I have issues with loosely organized networking groups where leaders don’t show up or cancel at the last minute. You hear such things from others.
I have been mentally checked out of my large metropolitan area for longer than I care to admit.
So, as I clean out and prep my home to be someone else’s (I have a painter here as I write this post), I am needing to bloom where I am planted as I prepare to uproot, which I figure will happen early 2027… or sooner, if the right opportunity presents itself.
What does that look like?
Staying involved in my church. Being invited to be on the committee for a new singles group that will hopefully launch in early fall.
Side note: I never wanted to be in such a group. Never thought I would be in such a group, and yet, here I am… yippee. Hey, I can meet some nice friends.
What else?
I guess I either need to drag myself to a women’s networking event or start one myself, and I am leaning toward the latter.
Be aware, though, that if that happens, I’ll make sure I am raising up someone to take over.
I’m not rushing a major life decision, but I’m ready to fly.
Keep your feet in the dirt beneath you right now, dear Amy. Bloom a bit where you are, and keep your eye on that new pot or garden… the answer will come.
Amy Walton is a widow of over 30 years and was in a relationship for 25 years, including a 10-year engagement that resulted in nothing but a ring that’s waiting to be sold and a crushed heart. She’s now starting to fly again. Connect with her at amywaltoncoaching@gmail.com.