My oldest granddaughter and me in December 2008
Our family celebrated a milestone event last week when my oldest granddaughter graduated high school.
I’ve never had the joy of living near my grandchildren, as their dad’s military career saw them living in Europe, Hawaii, and places in between. My joys, though, have been in savoring the times together and experiencing things most grandparents don’t get to live with their grandchildren: Walking the beaches of Oahu, seeing the Austrian Alps for the first time and visiting the gazebo from “The Sound of Music,” and driving across the Edmund Pettis Bridge in Selma, AL. Factor in many other memories, including countless games of “Guess Who?” and UNO over the years, and we’ve created many special moments.
As her graduation approached, I considered putting together one of those Shutterfly books that chronicled her life, but I decided to write down 18 life lessons, gleaned from my own life, to pass on to her. I hope she takes them to heart and lives them out boldly.
I humbly share these lessons with you:
- Always put God first… always. You may not understand Him but take time to be still and quiet and listen to His nudging.
- Love yourself, not in a conceited and narcissistic way, but a healthy self-love that shines in the way you take care of yourself and your health.
- Love and forgive others. We all make mistakes, and we also never know what a person is dealing with in their own life. There’s great peace in love and forgiveness.
- Make exercise a part of your life. It helps you stay young and mobile for decades.
- Never stop learning! As a stylist and esthetician, you’ll have to take continuing education classes, just as I do with yoga. Find subjects you love learning about, too, and read, travel, and learn.
- Ask for help when you need it. Sometimes we think we can figure it all out or do something by ourselves when we may need help. Never be afraid to ask for that.
- Spend more money on travel and less money on “stuff.” You are fortunate in having lived in Europe and Hawaii. Never lose your thirst for travel! It’s important to learn about and appreciate other nations and cultures. We are one big tapestry of people on this earth, and there’s much to learn!
- Wash your face and moisturize! I don’t need to tell you this, because you already do that, and you will be helping others take care of their skin. Still, treat those skincare rituals as very special times.
- Get out in nature as much as possible! In this VERY connected world in which we live (social media, news media, gaming), we NEED to connect with Mother Earth. Take hikes. Sit by babbling brooks. Keep your phone in your pocket and listen to the sounds of nature: Birds, insects, the crunch of leaves and rocks under your feet. It’s healing!
- Be intentional about all that you do. When you are in school and then in your career, you will be quite busy, so scheduling your workouts and “me time” is very important. We don’t FIND time; we MAKE time.
- Your body is your own. Respect it and love it. You are not obligated to share it with every guy with whom you go out. Our bodies are sacred. Honor that.
- Always tell the truth. Lies create more lies, and then we have a tangled web. The truth may hurt you or someone else, but it’s important to speak in truth.
- Never lose your sense of play! Whether we are 18 or 81, we should always have a sense of play and a sense of humor. Maybe one day you, too, will be jumping in an indoor trampoline park with your grandchildren!
- Remember that you come from strong families. Your Nana has beaten breast cancer twice and has suffered the loss of a child (and your mom and Grandpa suffered that loss, too). Your grandfather Russ didn’t let having only one leg hold him back from achieving goals and accomplishing amazing athletic feats. Your great grandfather, Pa, overcame four years as a prisoner of war. Your dad is nearly four years sober and has dodged injury and death many times in combat. I raised two little boys by myself. Lean into your family history when you get down or feel weak.
- Pay yourself first and contribute to your employer’s 401 (k) plan. When you start working or even when you receive your school stipend, put some money each month in a savings account ($100 or $200). When you do start your career, contribute to your 401 (k) plan. Leave it alone, and watch it grow. Give a few dollars to charities that are close to your heart, too.
- Ask not what others can do for you but what you can do for others. That’s paraphrasing President John F. Kennedy’s famous quote, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” There’s great joy in helping others, especially people who are struggling in some way. Do what you can to help.
- Own your worth! Every person is a human of great value. Don’t let anyone ever tell you can’t do something or you are not worth it. You’re worth it, whatever “it” may be
- Enjoy life one day at a time, acknowledging each day as the gift it is. It’s another day to find and
create joy and to make a difference. Tomorrow is never promised.
As parents and grandparents, we are tasked with creating legacies for our families through our oral and written histories and through imparting the wisdom we’ve developed in the ups and downs of life.
I pray my dear granddaughter will adhere to these lessons from my own life for her entire life.
Amy Walton is a certified grief coach, yoga and breath work instructor, and writer currently living in coastal Virginia. Having two children and three grandchildren who all teach her lessons, she will continue sharing life lessons with her family as long as she has breath. Connect with her at amywaltoncoaching@gmail.com.