I recently spoke at a women’s retreat at my church.
Our focus was on prayer and the armor of God, as depicted in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. I was assigned the breastplate of righteousness and the belt of truth, so as part of my presentation, I spoke about the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, found in the 18th chapter of Luke’s gospel. You can read it for yourself, but it’s basically a contrast in what I call “holier than thou” righteousness and holy righteousness.
The Pharisee bragged on his tithing and other deeds while the tax collector stood of to the side, declaring, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
If we are all honest with ourselves, we are the tax collector, regardless of how much we serve or dig into God’s Word.
Everyday I ask God to forgive my sins, and I strive to do the right thing.
And I fail daily, either through something that seems as subtle as judging someone or really blowing it with the rare, ugly outburst. I am far from perfect (and also my most harsh critic, as nearly every boss has pointed out), but I try.
At mass last evening, I made it a point to really think about everything I was saying: “Peace be With You.” “We lift them (our hearts) up to the Lord.” “It is right and just.”
Here’s the one that really sunk in, though: “Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed.”
That’s what I say at every mass before I hold out my hands and receive the Blessed Sacrament, the literal Body of Christ.
And as I said those words, acknowledging that I am, indeed, not worthy, I couldn’t help but think about how a prosperity gospel is preached in so many churches:
“God wants the best for you!”
“Living in abundance!”
“#blessed” (usually while standing beside some pricey vehicle or fancy home)
I could go on and on…
I don’t profess to be anywhere near perfect because I am not, but try to do what’s right.
So, can we Christians just agree that while we believe in the dignity of every human and we are abundantly grateful for Christ’s sacrifice, we are not worthy?
Say it out loud: “Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof.”
Repeat it.
And strive to do your best to His glory each day.
Amy Walton is almost hyper aware of her failings and gives herself grace for overthinking them. Connect with her at amywaltoncoaching@gmail.com.