I am a life coach, a certified one, who helps women move forward in their lives.
I must tell you, though, that I have waited so much–too much, in my opinion–in my own life, and I’m happy to report that I am no longer a lady in waiting.
As I make my way through Season 5 of the acclaimed Netflix series, “The Crown,” I am intrigued by the whole lady in waiting role. Call me “unroyal,” but I would not want to be dressed by someone else. That’s a fear of old age or becoming incapacitated–being so dependent on others that one can no longer dress herself. That’s a huge fear for many, but those concerns aside, I am betting most ladies in waiting get paid quite royally, no pun intended (Okay, maybe a little!). Come to think of it, not only would I not want to have others dress me, but I think I would get pretty bored being a lady in waiting.
We have to wait on many things: The births of babies. Milestone birthdays that bring special rewards, such as age 21 allowing us to purchase a legal alcoholic beverage or turning 65 and going on Medicare. We wait in lines at stores or in lines of traffic on highways. We wait anxiously for the results of medical tests.
And then there are those times of self-imposed waiting. We all do it.
When a coaching client is working toward a goal but gets stuck, and I perceive she’s holding back on forward movement, I will often lean in and ask, “What are you waiting for?” That question is a game changer.
I have been a lady in waiting a couple times in relationships, and I am both embarrassed and reluctant to admit that. Specifics aren’t important, but the two I spent time “waiting” on were very two different situations, except they were relationships with men. I finally moved on. It’s not easy… in fact, it’s HARD, but it’s better than being stuck in a place of thinking something is going to return to joy and bliss, that one day someone will awaken and remember how much they loved you and desired to be with you.
So, I ask you: On what or whom are you waiting?
If you sit with this question, really sit with it and just breathe, the answers will come. My guess is you are already aware that you are waiting and that you will likely be disappointed. I’m the eternal optimist, but sometimes you have to let go, let God, and move along. Be with people who want to be with you. Reach out to friends and create more social outings. Do some things to grow yourself, or start or re-start a hobby or favorite pastime. Commit to an exercise program that works for you or take a trip somewhere. Granted, none of these suggestions will cure your heartache or your beating yourself up for having waited and wasted time, but by re-engaging in ACTIVE life, you are no longer just doing life and waiting, but really living, knowing you are worth waiting for!
I’ll admit that the very few times I have truly been in love in my life (can count on one hand with fingers remaining), I have waited out of love, only to realize I was choking myself.
And I am walking in faith regarding this next chapter of my life–the chapter where there is no more waiting. I will do what I can and get out of His way.
You know where you are waiting. Ask yourself why you are waiting and how you might move forward. I think you know the answer.
If you are seeking forward movement and living a life that’s NOT stuck on hold, contact me. I’m a certified coach, and…
I am no longer a lady in waiting.
Amy Walton is a certified life coach, grief coach, and stress-relief coach and yogini who currently lives in coastal Virginia. She is engaged in some serious heart healing right now and is exploring options in this next chapter of her life, and she would welcome helping you explore your own options. Connect with her at firstname.lastname@example.org.