On a recent shopping excursion at Walmart, I rounded a corner in the nutrition section, heading toward the dental products, when I got behind a woman who was pushing her cart very slowly. She was a petite Black woman who seemed a bit tinier than me, but as my pace slowed to a near crawl, I noticed she had a very pronounced limp.
Injured body part? Polio victim? Prosthetic leg?
I don’t know.
As I traveled behind her, my heart suddenly swelled with compassion.
Anyone who knows me well knows I have a huge heart for the many ways Blacks in our country have been suppressed. I often joke that if I believed in past lives, I am certain I was Black because I love Black spirituality, the Motown sound, and anything that has to do with Black culture.
And I also have a big heart for women who struggle in some way because my life after losing my husband could have been very different.
To see this beautiful soul struggling to push her cart, I just wanted to strike up a conversation with her… bring her some joy…call her by her name…but an intro escaped me. Somehow, “Which dental floss do you recommend?” seemed a lame question.
So I left without speaking.
Driving home, I couldn’t let go of the image of this woman struggling to walk.
And then a whisper came to me: Amy, don’t let go of the seed I planted in you long ago.
For years, I spoke with pastors and other Christian leaders about my desire to work with women who are of humble means but seeking to create better lives.
And I allowed much to create excuses for me: No social work or ministry degree. Wanting to marry and create a life with the man I loved, the one man I trusted with my heart after losing my husband. Caring for my aging father. Work that brought great pay but that left me joyless.
The two great loves of my life knew this passion of mine.
My late husband told me he’d never seen me light up as I did when I was visiting a single moms’ apartment building weekly, many years ago, and teaching those women basic life skills and just holding space for their stories. My former fiance/partner knew my desire all too well; and before his sweet grandson entered the world, he had me in his will, spelling out that if something happened to his daughter before him, he’d like me to take my portion of his estate and use it to create a nonprofit to help women in need. He even Venmoed me $300 while on his second AT thru-hike to close the gap on a self-created mission trip I did nearly two years ago down in SW Georgia, where I got to have conversations with such women.
As I move forward in this new and unexpected single woman chapter of my life, the call is still there, and it’s strong.
And let me just add the call to having a loving partner to do life and to grow older with is still there, too. I just thought it would be with E. That’s what I wanted even in the hard times.
I love teaching breathwork and yoga, along with writing; but I just want something part-time that allows me to work directly with women in need. I don’t need a retirement account, and I don’t need health care. Those are covered.
I simply want to be Christ to women who need encouragement and mentoring.
The sweet looking woman who taught me to walk slowly that day in Walmart could very well be one of those so-called millionaires next door. Who knows?
All I know is that she was struggling to walk and my heart returned in that moment to something I think about everyday.
I wonder what her name is.
All I know is that she provided the fuel to give me the confidence to write this post and to finally… finally ask for any paid opportunities, near or far, to make a difference in the lives of underserved women.
Amy Walton was suddenly widowed at age 33 and raised her sons into men, supported by a village of coaches, friends, church mentors, and her late parents. Late last year her nearly 25-year relationship ended, which caused her–for the first time in decades of loss– to have an emotional crash. She has a lot of compassion, love, and a gift for encouragement. If you know of any opportunities in which she may be interested, connect with her at amywaltoncoaching@gmail.com.