A Photo of My Advent Wreath From Last Year
It’s the second week of Advent, and sitting by my wreath at night, along with re-watching old “Stranger Things” episodes, is giving peace.
I know… Advent and “Stranger Things” don’t seem to have much in common except that as I eagerly await the celebration of the coming of the Messiah, I am also eagerly awaiting the December 31 series finale. Jesus and Vecna… good and evil, light and dark.
Somehow, the light and dark seem to adequately capture how I am feeling right now.
I am not sending Christmas cards or letters, although I may send a New Year’s letter. Not putting any pressure on myself. I’ve not bought one gift. For the first time in decades, I have received zero party invitations. I didn’t even get invited to a party I really look forward to, although given that person’s thousands of connections, she probably had to pare the list this year. I get it. Plus, I’m not the big community player I was years ago.
For the first time ever, I am in a holiday funk.
I wrote an Advent devotional book, but plan to have it edited in early 2026 and publish it next year.
The expectation of Advent is my safe, quiet, and hopeful place right now.
I want to write and yet I can’t conjure up the words.
My chest feels like a brick is on it.
I’m really having to stay connected to my breath and to breathe deeply.
I want the most important things in my life to be “right,” and that includes the people I love, especially
- The person who’s been my friend the longest. She still hasn’t responded to my handwritten card of nearly a year ago, in which I “humbly” asked her forgiveness over calling her out on a Facebook post. In retrospect, I should have ignored it or addressed it privately.
- The relative whom I have loved and looked up my entire life. We had an ugly misunderstanding that I think we both–in our own ways–made worse. I can only take responsibility for any harsh words I said, but I have tried to make things right.
- The person to whom I gave my heart…
You know, if I were a big imbiber, I could easily get intoxicated, but not to worry: I’m NOT one by any means! I get my greatest joys from being physical, so there’s a lot of movement taking place these days!
I am leaning into my closest friends right now, maybe planning a few surprises, and awaiting in hope–BIG hope–for the One in Whom my true hope is found.
I guess I found some words to write after all.
Amy Walton is a yoga and breath work instructor, corporate trainer, and Christian speaker and writer. It’s not often that she’s at a loss for words. Connect with her at amywaltoncoaching@gmail.com.
